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It’s amazing what can happen when older people are not afraid to look stupid. I suppose this happens for a variety of reasons, most of which come down to not caring anymore.

There appear to be two kinds of not caring anymore, though. The more common kind involves wearing comfortable, non-stylish and plain things like untucked baggy shirts or sweat pants. This is the kind of not caring anymore that comes from, for lack of a better word, a wisdom about appearances to outsiders and how that no longer matters, as if it ever did. Comfort and cost are pretty much what carries the day.

And then there are the older people who also don’t care, but it’s more like, “I don’t care what you think, I am not giving up my inimitable, unique style. Wear muu-muus and slacks you ordered from the pages of Parade magazine if you want, I’m still wearing bright colors and my rope chains. I’ve still got style, dammit.”

My curiosity lies pretty much in that fork in the road. I have some idea which of my friends will be still be clinging to the latest styles as they get old and I pretty much have some idea who will be in need of a dollar-store sweat pants intervention.

I know that I probably can’t see my 70-year old self wearing a tight multicolored t-shirt, not unless HGH is as common for old folks in the future as it is currently for desperate major leaguers looking to hang on to their careers. So, the only question now: can I stay away from buying mail-order slacks? Not pants, slacks.

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