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Vote John McCain. Obama doesn't even watch "24", and therefore is not serious about terrorism.

Today we turn to what was once considered an insane idea in 1986 but has now become a cultural institution today. That’s right, I speak of the Fox network. Now soon to be 22 years old, It’s is no longer considered the ‘fourth network’. Sure, some people thought Rupert Murdoch was out of his mind. Well, those people didn’t understand the plan: Absorb years years of losses, exploit the underserved minority viewing population, overpay for football, then put on a glorified karaoke show and…voila! You’re a major network.

So, what is Fox offering us this season that’s caught this jaded blogger’s eye? Will, its easily most hyped new show is “Fringe“, a new show from J.J. Abrams (and some other dudes in smaller print) about three people looking strangely and fascinatedly into a toilet. Well, that’s what its subway ads make you think, anyway. I guess there’ll be scary monsters and storylines and strange creatures and intense scenes. It basically looks like the” X-Files” meets “Lost”. Fox insisted on starting early, so I could have actually reviewed this show, which now has two episodes under its belt. I chose not to.

Also new from Fox: not much else. With their lineup pretty much set, consisting of steady performers like “Prison Break”, “24”, “Bones”, and “Family Guy”, there were only two other newcomers that garnered my attention:

The first is “Hole In The Wall”, a form of Human Tetris, I guess, where teams contort themselves into cut-out holes. This is going to perfect for people who really miss “Wipeout”, which had its season finale the other day. This show is probably good for the whole family as well, and provides a perfect opportunity to for a chance to make glory hole jokes. Fun for everyone!

Also on the docket: “Do Not Disturb“, a sitcom about a cheesy hotel owner played by Jerry O’Connell. You can tell Fox must love its chances based on the hard work they’ve put into the website. (None, if you don’t bother to click on. Come on, is this any way to treat the bastard stepchild of Fawlty Towers?)

But what I’m really looking forward to is my favorite Fox show every year. No, not the still-amusing-but-clearly-past-it’s-prime “The Simpsons”. I’m talking about “Horrifying Reality Show Pulled Out of Fox’s Ass To Be Named Later.” Every year, Fox has a few cancellations, and faster than you can say, “That can’t be a real show!” they pull a “Temptation Island” or “Moment of Truth” out from the Fox Reality dungeon. THey can do this because if the show’s not successful, they can just dump it on the Fox Reality Channel, where classics such as “My Big Fat Obnoxious Boss” live on. I look forward to this year’s. I’m going to predict something involving cheating spouses. Maybe a show where they move the illicit lover into the house! You know it’ll be good. And by good, I mean “slightly better than ‘Prison Break’.”

So, are they back in the jail again, by the way? They seem good at getting out of prison, but bad at staying out of it, apparently.

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