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Occasionally, I like to get my hate on in advance, often before seeing a bad idea. Oftentimes, I am wrong about the actual popularity of the product, and sometimes I can be wrong about the product itself.

And if you think that’s going to stop me, well, welcome, new reader!

Anyway, I was reading a New York Times article about film comedies that are coming out this spring and summer, and one in particular got my attention, and not in a good way. The one that made me upset? Made of Honor.

Made of Honor

The short, unbiased version is this: Some loser played by Patrick Dempsey is asked to be the maid of honor at his best friend’s wedding. Yes, his best friend is a woman, you evangelicals can stop hyperventilating. But it turns out that he’s in love with the bride and decides to try and win her heart.

Okay, before I rip this film I have not seen, a bit of disclosure: In my previous Internet incarnation, I wrote a fictional short story about this very subject. I don’t think they stole my idea or anything, so I’m mad for different reasons, and you’ll see why in a few paragraphs.

In my short story, the ‘man of honor’ (that was my term, I think) essentially spends the whole story trying to convince everyone that he is not really in love with the bride and they are just good friends. It’s probably not very good (I can’t bring myself to actually read it right now), but at least I went against the grain…a story about a guy trying to prove he’s not in love. (I think, in honor of New York’s fallen governor, he even bangs a hooker! Very tenderly.)

In this movie, as previously noted, the guy appears to be too much of a pussy to have made a move on this girl until she gets engaged. Of course, then he decides to try and become her lover. Aside from being trite and predictable, which chaps me creatively, this movie, if it proves popular, is basically going to cause nothing but trouble for people who have good friends of the opposite sex. And by people, I mean men.

As someone who has had dates wondering if I have something going on with one of my female buddies based on them punching me in the stomach, let me tell you, this is bad business. Especially if you happen to meet a woman who either has not had friends of the opposite sex, or if they happen to be safely gay. A movie like this is not going to help. It just gives more ammunition for the suspicious mind.

“But Well Whiskey,” you  say, “what about My Best Friend’s Wedding? That didn’t cause such behavior.” To which I say, of course it didn’t. For starters, it’s actually a quality movie with a quality star. Admittedly, I’m clearly no Patrick Dempsey fan, but in terms of likable star quality, he’s not Julia Roberts, whatever you think of either of them as actors. Second, the reason the movie works so well is that it isn’t all that predictable. At no point do you ever really think Julia Roberts was going to steal that dude from Cameron Diaz. The movie’s real tension comes from the fact that you’re essentially waiting for Julia Roberts to snap out of her delusion and grow up, and that’s a little smarter and more complex. Yeah, you heard me.

Are you expecting any such thing here? Are we really expecting Mighty McDreamy to strike out? Maybe if it wasn’t the director of “City Slickers 2” and the writers of “Surviving Christmas” and “Josie and the Pussycats”, I’d be more confident.

Even if he doesn’t ultimately get the girl, (Other likely-to-be-used cliche: he settles for the nice-girl fellow bridesmaid who loved him all along.) the fact that the man of honor and her best friend is secretly pining for the bride is a lame movie cliche to often gets applied to real life by idiots. And I hate to give idiots material. But Hollywood doesn’t. If this film’s a hit, a guy who helps a girl he’s not sleeping with is going to be looked at sideways with ridicule and suspicion. Well okay, even more than he is now. And while that’s sometimes the case, it’s not always the case.

But in the end, maybe it’s my fault for not getting my story published, for not catching the eye of movie execs, and for not getting my little writing experiment made into a movie. After all, evil reigns when good men do nothing, as Edmund Burke kind of said. Or maybe he said, “if you think a movie’s crap, don’t go see it and shut the hell up”.

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