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If you are at one of those “organic” markets to get your hands on some sushi or free-range chicken salad, remember that it doesn’t mean you also have to pick up much needed toiletries there. You can wait to get stuff at the 99-cent stores, or you can wait till you get to a part of the city not secretly controlled by the green hipster mafia and get sundries there.

Don’t be like a certain alcohol-themed blogger who went into a place looking for sushi-to-go and walked out with ten dollar Kiss My Face Active Athletic Shower Gel. Ten dollars! What a rip! What kind of sucker picks shower gel without seeing how much it costs? Sure, it’s natural and was not tested on animals, but it costs 10 dollars! But it’s got muscle relaxant! That’s swell. The three-dollar Dial Body Wash had plenty of moisturizing to keep my skin from getting dry.

If you’re asking “Why don’t you be a man and get a bar of soap,” let me tell you this: If you want to lather up with something that feels like sandpaper and smells like monkey ass, knock yourself out. If you want a real bar of soap in Billyburg, hit the bodega or take the G down to Fulton Street and get thee to the Target.

So I guess the moral is, always see how much stuff costs before you buy it. But you should know that already. So remember kids: when in the ‘Burg, if you’re not down with overpaying for body wash, wait. Or else you’ll be out ten dollars for “aromatherapeutic” muscle-relaxing soap. If my skin starts to itch, somebody’s going to pay….

The more you know….

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