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During some downtime, I checked out a Gawker story about a publicity-starved writer who had a date with a notorious bachelor. The writer seemed sad for doing this, the guy was clearly creepy and strange, and bla, bla ,bla. there wasn’t much else going on here, except that the dude may have some hygiene issues

I didn’t really get all that much into the story, mostly because as awful as the guy sounded, his techniques probably work in general. People say they want to meet honest, genuine people in sex and relationships, but the key more often than not, is really manipulation and knowing what to say, when to say it, and whom to target. Sorry if I’m being a downer, but that’s just the way it is. And yeah, by “people” I probably mean “women”.

Anyway, I moved on to the comments, and one sad commenter said that this article made her feel even sadder about meeting men, and then she related the story of how she found out her ex, who was already clearly a sleaze, was now even sleazier because he was meeting women for random hookups on Adult Friend Finder.

Firtt, let me just say that I hope this woman doesn’t give up, that there are good men out there, and you can’t let yourself get jaded and cynical because of one bad experience. (Maybe I’m one to talk.)

Now, on to the real issue: Adult Friend Finder! Really! People are actually on that? For reals? Finding someone to snowball with? Honestly?

Color me skeptical, because well, that’s just how I roll. I, for the life of me, can’t believe anyone successfully uses that thing. If that were true, I would think it would be way bigger than it is. Right? Right? I mean, every man alive would be on there if it was a goldmine of willing women ready to get down. And I know a lot of guys who are always looking for the next bone. None of them have ever gone, “Yeah, I’m on Adult Friend Finder, and boy, is my pelvis tired!”

I mean, it’s not like they would keep it secret out of shame. There can’t possibly be any stigma left to online dating of any sort, especially, for fellas who have resorted to techniques like introducing their friend at say, Mason Dixon and walking away. If you’re trying to hit on women, there’s already an inherent lack of shame involved.

Another thing that makes me skeptical: the glossy pictures of ‘erotic folks’. Anybody who has ever seen an HBO episode of Real Sex knows swingers often don’t look like your garden-variety Skinemax stars, they more often than not look leather bags with nipples, cocks, asses and feet. Now I’m not saying there aren’t attractive, sexually adventurous people out there who use the internet to make their fantasies come true. (Because an opening line of “Excuse me, miss, but how do you feel about The Shocker?” is probably not going to get you too far.) I’m just saying that I don’t believe it involves Adult Friend Finder.

And no, this isn’t a fishing expedition to find out where the freaks are at. This is just me wondering aloud about an internet service that’s like a sexual Santa Claus and Easter Bunny rolled up into one: you know it’s not true, but a part of you wants to believe. But I just can’t. And that’s why I wrote this. Well, as far as you know.

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