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While I was waiting for a chicken cutlet-bacon-and-cheddar sandwich accompanied by a banana Thursday night, I made a couple of observations completely unrelated to each other.

1. It takes a deli to feed a village: How come every time I want a sandwich, end up behind the person who is feeding some sort of small army? Whether it’s Jose from up the block getting sandwiches because he finished last in the dominoes game, Ezra the hipster getting sandwiches for all their friends because they’re all high and they ate all his Pringles, Pretty Tony and his crew getting eats to take back into the Escalade after a night of clubbing, or the other guy named Jose getting a boatload of sandwiches for a dishwashing crew that just got off. No matter the reason, I am always behind this person!

And not only is he ordering 4 to 10 sandwiches, everyone in the crew is picky and have wildly different tastes! No lettuce! No tomoatoes! Extra onions! A mix between cheddar and gorgenzola cheese, but keep the gorgenzola cold and the cheddar melted! Is that dairy-free mayonnaise? You know how Frank gets if he eats dairy, he’ll be farting all the way home!

This is the kind of thing that makes you not want to support the local mom-and-pop deli and go to Subway. I’m not even kidding. And if I was not terrified of being seen inside of one on Bedford Avenue, dammit, I would.

2. Crappy dance music is now ancient classic crappy dance music! At the deli, they were playing “The Beat of New York”, WKTU, our local dance station. I really wasn’t paying attention to the ads that were playing for clubs full of popped-collar douchebags on Long Island and New Jersey (remember, three nights of clubbing this weekend! Thanks, Dr. King!).

But then they started playing a song. And it was your garden-variety club/freestyle song which would be perfectly okay…except that they insist on having lyrics. They went something like

I want to have some fun (dunch-dunch-dun-dun-da-dun-dun) I want to grab someone (dunch-dunch-dun-dun-da-dun-dun) I want to touch someone (dunch-dunch-dun-dun-da-dun-dun) I want to have some fun (dunch-dunch-dun-dun-da-dun-dun)

Okay, that’s probably not how it completely went, but you get the idea. And then I realized, as I was paying for my Diet Mountain Dew, sandwich, and Doritos, that I remeber this somg from fifteen years ago! Heck, it might have been 20 years ago! This was now a clubbing classic! That people may very possibly still be dancing to!

Imagine, douches with too much gel in their hair, tight shirts too shiny, reeking of Drakkar Noir,  have been harassing big-haired girls in hooker boots drinking Long Island Iced Teas to these songs for an entire generation!


One Comment

  1. KTU shamelessly plays songs that are 15-30 years old. And bless them for it, because if they played much of today’s music I’d have to carry earplugs with me.

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