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In tribute to today marking the end of fourteen straight days of drinking (unless I clean out the fridge in the next 45 minutes), I will keep you updated on the other current streaks going on in my life.

2: Number of weekend mornings I have not awoke in my own bed. (No, not because of that.)

23: Workdays not missed due to ‘mental health’ needs (hangovers, poor travel planning, just not feeling it)

10: Days wearing newly-purchased socks to avoid doing laundry

4: Days having just missed the 9:02 Queens-bound G train from Metropolitan Avenue, ensuring that I will be late to work

4: Number of consecutive Presidential primaries I have not really paid attention to

9: Months since I last choked my roommate/drinking buddy Diddy during a useless argument

21: number of Facebook friend requests I have quickly accepted without giving it much thought

22: days since I signed up for the gym and have not gone

7: times I have taken the L train, saw a hot girl/nasty hipster guy couple and not started humming “Is She Really Going Out With Him?” to myself

15: days I have had to change 2007 to 2008 on something I was writing

3,634: days I have woken up expecting to really turn it around

46: days since my last “Anchorman” reference in conversation (the Chargers’  resurgence is going to make this one tough)

4: hours since my last meal. that’s unacceptable!


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