Well Whiskey Friday

So, I went home this weekend and my dad asked me if I was doing anything to help Barack Obama.

“I’m not a Democrat,” I reminded my dad.

My mother quietly started making fun of him in the kitchen. “Here he goes again. Obama’s his guy. Won’t stop talking about him.” I didn’t think my mother was a Hillary supporter, but she sounded less than convinced. Probably because after 34 years of marriage, if my dad’s for it, she’s probably against it.

So what does this mean to you, the voters? I don’t know. But I have to admit, I’ve never seen my dad this excited about a presidential candidate. Ever. I mean, my dad never stopped making fun of Jesse Jackson, so it’s not about skin color with him.

(Sample rant: “What has Jesse Jackson ever run? I mean, run for mayor of Chicago first or something! Why should he be President? Because he’s a preacher?”)

Why am I throwing this out there, you ask?

Well, my dad’s endorsement is just about as pointless as all the other noise I’ve been hearing for the last month or so as the Democratic Party Immolation Festival paves the way for the McCain Administration.

Issues? Remember those? Yeah, the campaign was kind of boring back then when that was the focus. It’s much better now that the focus is now on to nitpick both sides, looking for those “gotcha” moments, embarrassing photos, quotes from duplicitous surrogates and cronies going “sorry, was that offensive?”, relentless parsing of statements, irrational and stupid name-calling from supporters on both sides, and all around wasting everyone time by inflaming passions and relegating thought to the back burner.

And that’s why Well Whiskey Friday Sr.’s endorsement matters so much. He’s as cynical and hardened as any voter, waiting for something to rouse him out of his (occasional) gout-induced slumber. Barack Obama has done just that. My dad looks skeptically at any black person who runs for office, maybe more so than your average white guy. (Let’s just say there was many an expletive thrown David Dinkins’ way.) So you know Barack’s trustworthy.

So now I’ve added my two cents of nonsense into this. I feel like I am now an active participant.

As for Mama Well Whiskey, I suspects she secretly likes McCain’s sarcasm and short temper. Forget the first black person, or the first woman in the White House. I think she’s truly looking for one of her own to finally get in the White House. Sarcastic cranks of the world, unite!